Time, Circumstances, Love – What Happens Next

Currently Hovering Over the Pages of ....An American Marriage by Tayari Jones is akin to the threading of a quilt worn out not by time but by circumstances.

A passionately woven tale of stirring, deep, inseparable love. In the true Shakespearean style, an event as trivial as Roy helping an elderly lady take an ice bucket to her room completely upends the lives of the newlyweds – Roy and Celeste.

Jones weaves a moving pattern of Celeste’s visit to meet her husband in jail. These visits dwindle with time as Celeste finds success in her doll making business, the dolls ironically being fashioned after Roy’s face, and finding a tether in Andre, the best man at their wedding.

Written in an epistolary form, An American Marriage portrays quiet devastation of families. The lives of Roy and Celeste, their families’, and Andre’s are all affected by an allegation of rape, a crime Roy did not commit.

Time has a tendency to be erratic. For some, it ambles, while it gallops gaily for others … and in its unpredictable gait, it sure corrupts LOVE to follow suit.

How fate works: Roy meets his birth father in jail.


Appreciating the Epic Directorial Vision of Sanjay Leela Bhansali




When I stand at my kitchen sink washing dishes greased with a welter of Indian curries and sticky dough, I let my mind wander to experience a more colorful palette than the turmeric and paprika floating around with the soap suds. Through those iridescent hollow spheres, I see the embellished sets, the ebullient characters, and the unbridled imagination of Sanjay Leela Bhansali, especially given the highly anticipated release of his new movie, “Padmaavat.” I look for the surreal in the mundane.

Read more here:

Appreciating the Epic Directorial Vision of Sanjay Leela Bhansali






Hubris – when reality slips away and false belief sets in, when new money and sudden power settles over someone like a layer of thick dust, when psychotic delusions and manic energy gushes through the veins, and when the line between virtue and vice diminishes.

 Alexander Pope’ sums up the impact of  hubris well, “the difference is too nice – Where ends the virtue or begins the vice.”


The term hubris embodied a stark flaw in ancient literature across all cultures. Because of this flaw, the angel Lucifer suffered in the eternal fires of Hell. Ravana, one of the most learned men as depicted in the Indian epic Ramayana, falls prey to hubris. In Greek mythology, Narcissus’ hubris led to his death when he starved himself while admiring his own reflection.

Hubris has remained a never failing salience of humankind. Arrogant people have been knocking down others to wield more power and to get more limelight than they already do. Clout and top positions are regarded as a ticket to harassing the faint of heart and as an access card to bringing down the less powerful.629027126

Literature and movies have been shown to have hubris. Macbeth, Wolf of Wall Street, Scarface,  Doctor Faustus:  scores of examples can be added to this list as avarice, arrogance, and bigotry continues to malign the human psyche.



6 Reasons Why Women In Their 40s Can be Intimidating To Men

6 Reasons Why Women In Their 40s Can Intimidating To Men

After all those years as a woman hearing ‘not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not this enough, not that enough,’ almost overnight I woke up one morning and thought, ‘I’m enough.’ -Anna Quindlen

Gone are the times when women in their 40s were considered matronly, dry, unattractive and past their prime; the 21st century women who are in their 40s wear layers of experience, have curves of confidence and shine with the softness gained from being content in their skin.

The foremost reason why a woman in her 40s can be a force to reckon with is because she is confident. The four decades that she has been on this planet as a girl have taught her how to speak her mind. At that age, the need to please is replaced by a need to be true to self and saying ENOUGH doesn’t seem like a feat.

•She is more interested in flaunting her attitude than her looks. And all men know that a woman with attitude is more alluring than one with the prettiest of faces.

•The 21st Century woman in her 40s is proud of celebrating her successes yet humble enough not to boast. She has the lines of intellect to guide her on how to handle her success. She is appreciative of others’ achievements but not jealous as she is aware of her own worth.

•Because she is a woman, she is passionate but because she is mature, she exercises rationale. She doesn’t unleash her temper anymore; her fury is tempered. In an argument, she is a fair and worthy opponent and not a teary eyed princess whom you can pity. She is also more willing to listen than her younger counterparts. But don’t think for a minute that you have her in your net. She no longer believes blindly in you.

•Been there, done that…wait, not yet! A woman in her 40s may be starting to explore her interests or develop new ones. Lethal combination of experience and the fact that she is not done yet. She is ready for more challenges, new projects and unexplored adventures. There is no end to what she CAN DO.

•She is fiercely independent, yet is capable of giving her all to a relationship. She doesn’t mind doing your work for you, but be wise and don’t confuse her benevolence with toadyism.

You can’t understand a woman fully but neither can you understand the vastness of space.

Declutter your mind – practical and soulful tips – By iReikiNow

This blog post originally appeared on iReikiNow and is reprinted with permission. Declutter your mind – practical and soulful tips

iReikiNow is a Reiki/ meditation/ spiritual practice that has been established by Nidhi Idnani.Nidhi is a Certified Reiki Master and Teacher of Usui/Tibetan Reiki, following the teachings of Mikao Usui (founder of the Usui System of Reiki) through the International Center for Reiki Training (ICRT), a Chakra Wellness Expert and a Meditation coach.

To all my writer friends out there – the pointers given in this post are beneficial when you as a writer have too many thoughts germinating in your brain and they are killing each other or when you need to toss out your  ‘darlings’ (choicest sentences/paras etc.), or when you need that calm demeanor to provide your character with more dimension. Read on:

Declutter your mind – practical and soulful tips – By Nidhi Idnani of iReikiNow

We all suffer from mental chatter, the rush of words, the supersonic speed of thoughts, which lead to hastened reactions. This is precisely the time when we need to put our thought breaks on. Give yourself permission to stop for a moment,  and create some mental space by following these tips below. Just BREATHE…



  • Be present: Breathe deeply and be present in the moment. Do whatever it takes to clear your head and calm yourself – whether it is breathing exercises, meditation or staying in silence.
  • Rest: Sleep is imperative. It will sharpen your attention, improve your memory, improve your health, reduce stress and help your overall well being.
  • Exercise: Whether it’s a walk in the park, yoga or a sport you enjoy, get up and move your body. Let those endorphins release in your body, boost your immune system, take control of your health, and enjoy the positivity it brings along.
  • Attention on one thing – Stop multi-tasking. Embrace single-tasking. Adopt actionable goals. It will help you focus better, and it will boost your time management skills. Completing one task at a time builds your confidence, which will only help you to achieve success and will raise your happiness quotient.
  • Thankful – Remember the good times and and count your blessings. Maintain a gratitude journal. Very soon you will realize that you have much to be thankful for.
  • Have a to do list: Use an app/ tool to save your list. Save your appointments (and the reminders) on your calendar. Fewer ideas will slip away and you will tend to get a lot done. Finally, organizing and recording your tasks helps you to prioritize what is most important to you.
  • Eliminate the non-essentials: This can be a blog post in itself J but let’s list the most important –
  • The materialistic: Often we clutter our closets with unnecessary purchases or with products we don’t need anymore. Donate items you don’t need and organize your house.
  • The thought: Waste thoughts and negative thoughts creep up in our minds and take up a lot of space. Let go of the worries, anxieties, fears and all that does not serve you. The past is over and fretting about the future does not help. Take ownership of your thoughts. You have the power to choose positive thoughts.
  • Social media/ TV/ Phone: While there are many benefits to social media/ TV and the phone, we have become a culture where countless hours are spent on the same. External noise is inversely related to inner peace. So go ahead and put your phone away for a certain period everyday.  Find joy in the quiet.

What are you waiting for? It’s time to detox your mind.

Feminism – The Brand, The Benchmark or a Woman’s Prerogative



We are women, hence the strength to go on….

Way back in 1949, Simone de Beauvoir wrote, “I hesitated a long time before writing a book on woman,” De Beauvoir begins. “The subject is irritating, especially for women; and it is not new. Enough ink has flowed over the quarrel about feminism; it is now almost over: let’s not talk about it anymore.”

Six decades or so later, acts of feminism still make the news.  Women continue  to fight to prove their individuality. Discrimination, stereotyping, objectification (especially sexual objectification), oppression and patriarchy still prevail.  Granted, countless paths of equality have been traversed and thousands of rights have been attained, yet this ‘ism’ hasn’t crossed the finish line victoriously.

How does the dictionary defines Feminism?

Feminism is  the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities or feminism is organized activity in support of women’s rights and interest.  


As the Jennifer Lawrences and malala yousafzais  of the world continue to speak up  about gender pay inequality and women’s rights  respectively, we as women need to learn from these highly accomplished women that feminism is about leading  by examples and not by mere talk.  For women’s sake, I want all women who are entering the feminist space or are considering  taking up arms against men in the name of feminism, to realize a few things.

Men are not benchmarks for women –  Yes, women should speak up when it comes to equal opportunities as a human being and equal pay for equal work  but  women don’t need to  aspire to be like men in all respects. Men and women will have different likes and  dislikes, different coping mechanisms for dealing with stress and different reactions at jubilant times. There will always be natural  differences between the two sexes and those differences are to be celebrated.Feminist women don’t need to bare their chests like men or wear feminism like a brand. The only competition each woman or rather each human being should have is with herself or himself.

Revel in your own strength as women.

Feminism is not a brand –  As I go through the countless feminist paraphernalia sites, and read about the many events where  mobs of females say or do everything that falls under the category of mob mentality, I wonder how we can brand something that stemmed from thousands of years of  being treated as inferior to men? The collective pain of countless women can’t be poured into the molds to make mugs, or stamped onto T-shirts, or blasted through  microphones in rallies.

Feminism needs action.

Be a woman in essenceWomen who are feminist are sensitive towards other women.  They empathize with the ones who are unable to make good choices either due to lack of awareness or due to circumstances.  So work on bringing out  the ‘true woman’ in you. Try doing the hard task of not frowning  upon the choices other women make. Instead, in your lifetime, help out at least one woman to boost her morale, lift her up, and encourage her to pass on the baton. Lead by example  against injustice and gender divide and  DON’T EVER practice it.

 Do what real feminist women do – GIVE!

Feminism is not a ritual that every modern woman should followThe want of feminism is to find  what you want to do in life.The key phrase  here is whatever you want to do and not what you are made to do. It is not a ritual that every woman has to follow, it is a mindset, an understanding that every woman and every man should have. It could very well  mean sitting at home and cooking for your family.  Trust me, if you as a woman loves doing so, then you are a feminist at heart. That doesn’t mean you won’t have or express countless opinions on the world political scenario, the economy or how your son or daughter should be raised.  

It is important for every woman to know what she wants in life.


Women need women – Through the last decade or so,  I have been relearning the meaning of feminism. From the dictionary meaning to the screaming “I am a feminist” t-shirt to the meaning taught by Sheryl Sandberg in her book  Lean In –  each one has shaped and reshaped my opinion of gender equality and feminism.  Recently I concluded  that my 86 year old grandma is truly a feminist. She never worked outside of her home, did not get the equal opportunities as her male siblings did, was taught to follow through her father’s and husband’s decisions made for her, but she always pushed her daughters to pursue higher education and never thrust her decisions on them.

Be a mentor to someone.

Men and women as allies –  Historically, women have been subjugated, looked down upon, and expected to remain mute on all financial decisions. Basically women have been on the back bench for centuries. But that doesn’t mean, feminist women have to have their horns out when it comes to men. One can’t expect to get a friendly handshake while one is looking away. Men and women can and should work together.

 Feminist Women do not mind an equal compromise – just don’t ask her to take a step back because she is a woman.